Hope In A Painted Sky

don't take for granted your second chances

don't waste away her efforts to make amends

she may well be all that's left when all of this ends

you drown your sorrows in a sea of dreams

talk is cheap when she listens and believes

your empty promises like devalued currency

 

take a look around you, take a look behind you

don't let your past dictate your future

use its lessons to guide and remind you

if you so chose to believe and see

there's hope inside a painted sky

there's hope hidden behind her grey eyes

the dust is starting to settle

the smoke starting to clear

grab ahold of your life and let go of your fears 

take a look around you, take a look beside you

she's been there the whole time

quietly begging for only your heart

And the promise of another fresh start

Vanity In Vain

It's a patio meeting between two unlikely friends

Saved from the sun at an umbrella table. 

Beauty becomes her but she doesn't even know it

Too consumed chasing the looks

She incessantly applies protection from the very sun she is hidden from

Lipstick check and constant mirror glances 

Keep her in line with all her nervous apprehensions

They won't stay friends for long

Outside secular Beauty seems to chase away all the good souls with love inside and scars on the outside

Someday she will sit alone in the city catching the days last chapter, watching the sky above the skyline turn into a rainbow of reds.....only to miss the sunset

Wondering where her life went spent in an endless search for meaning and reason at the close of another shitty day

And worse yet the end of a season

It's her that changed not you

She's not coming back anytime soon

Maybe not ever

And all the chapters she missed while looking in the mirror can't be rewritten

They won't be relived or even remembered

She was vainly consumed with her vanity  And she can no longer hold on to that

The lines spread like cold cement cracks and the grays invade faster than the color that hides them

Beauty was all she invested in and now that's gone.

She's not sure if she ax hold on

God only knows of she will

Lincoln's Lesson

My three year old son Noah and I have established a routine of sorts. I'm a stay at home dad during the week and a business owner on the weekends. Most days during the week him and I take my youngest daughter to preschool. She goes half days at 12:30 so there is no bus service. 

Each day after we drop her off we swing over to the local thrift store to look for books and treasures. We almost always walk out of there with a box of books. Him and I usually stroll through there while I hold his hand up and down the flights of stairs between all the levels of the store. Today as we are walking through I feel a tug and a slow down by him. I knew he couldn't have dropped anything for he had brought nothing in with him. As I turn around to look I see him bent over picking up a penny. Something about that penny was fascinating to him. This event provoked my mind into trying to understand, from a fathers perspective what motivated or inspired him to pick up that penny and keep it. That penny had value to him in some capacity. He did not let go of it either. He was trying to put it in his pocket but I think my sense of urgency caused him to settle for a tight fisted clench. I have a bad habit of always being in a hurry even when it's not necessary. 

As we wrapped up our trip to town and headed home I started to really disect this whole penny incident. He had fallen asleep on the way home and still had that penny clutched tightly in his tiny little fist even in slumber.  All I could think was "I hope it was the glistening of the copper that was fascinating to him and not because he perceived value in that penny above other things." Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They see and observe most everything from the smallest routines such as how we put our shoes on to how we react when they drop and break one of the dishes. If we put on our right shoe first they will grow up thinking that's how you are supposed to put your shoes on. If we get upset over a broken dish they will grow up believing dishes are as important or maybe even more important than the feelings of the individual who broke said dish. Wether you are a parent, relative, daycare provider, teacher, coach or anyone who has regular contact wth children you are at the very least a role model and quite possibly even a hero to those kids. 

This way of thinking led me to fear that Noah had already started to see the importance money has taken in our society and worse yet in his own environment. He sees that we use these shiny things to make purchases, often times for stuff he finds fun like food, candy or juice. He sees when I keep all of my pocket change in a safe place of its own, away from all of the other crap in our home. It was as good as a reminder to me as any that he is always paying attention and a greater reminder that I need to be more aware of his little eyes and ears and what they take in. It also prompted me to remind others, that your kids or the kids you come in contact with are always paying attention. Take the time to take notice of who or what your kids are watching. It's probably you they are watching and it's probably you they want to be just like! Unless of course it's the god forsaken television that will swallow anyone's attention and often times their creativity too. But seriously, kids are always putting us on pedostols It's a powerful thought. And a humbling one.

There's A Storm

You've cast a spell

You've covered me in your beauty

This takes more than trusting 

This takes waiting

It seems you've got nothing left for me

This will be a test of time

Sound the alarm

Disarm that charm

I took forever to the county 10

Wake up tomorrow only to do it again

I dreamed he took the wheel from me

I think he actually did

Imagine it's possible to catch these feelings in a bottle 

And light up our lives like a jar of fire flies

And now I run from the things I love

For the things I want and need

I don't even recognize these roads anymore

And I've driven them one thousand times

Where are all these cars coming from

And where are they all headed

I lost the diamond in the rough

It's hard to hold on to someone who isn't yours

She's a fighter with more life than I could ever hope to have 

And now I'm left with repeating this déjà vu

And it's all over you

I can't bear the thought of being your memory

I need to be your destiny